A Hospital Chief's Auld Lang Syne for 2013

The holiday spirit came with the muse, albeit a light-hearted version, for my last column of 2012. I hope you can hear Auld Lang Syne as you read and chuckle. Here's hoping for even higher quality healthcare in 2013.

Let us lament our Mrs. Jones for her excessive readmissions past,
For she, and others like her, now cost our hospital cash!

Or safety scores from The Leapfrog Group that left our wards bereft,
Especially since the headlines screamed: "This hospital got an F."

CHORUS
We'll boost our quality scores this year and be acute care heroes,
We'll learn from all our past mistakes, and cut our HACs to zeros.

Should we dress down our doctors now, who threw their tantrums loud,
When we suggested variation, should not be, so much, allowed?

Or because some ignored those checklists, albeit they be many,
When failure to do a "time out," excised Mr. Smith's wrong kidney.

CHORUS
We'll lift our quality scores this year and be acute care heroes.
We'll learn from all our past mistakes, and reduce our CLABSIs to zeros.

Know we not our foreign object counts, of sponges, pads, guide wires,
And make sure we clear the cautery tool, lest we set someone afire.

Woe is us for long ED waits, and boarding in the halls,
Or when our nurses weren't looking, some patients suffered falls.

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